Oblique

Full-sided laugh, shaped a raw-red

Nine-edged prism. We argued existence –

You and your underlined atheism, as if highlighted,

Uncontrived. Which I was fine with.

No, I didn’t mind – search me

On full-screen, your expertise

With computers, with printers

Their numbers and systems – desirably wise.

Whittling wild

My psychiatric glitches, cerebral numbness

Painted poetic pictures

While theoretical lies filed through the receiver.

Forgive me, believe me etc etc...

I dialled your number, exiled

Onto answer – the robotic ring rang

A narcotic evil. Told you I loved you, hoped

You believed me. Midst all this madness

I asked you, if you were wallpapering for twelve hours.

Something ridiculous.

Imagined the shroud of glue glimpsing her grasp

On each finger, the kiss

Lifting chiffon – thinness of skin

To cover holes, blisters under plaster. Plug sockets

Of mine unwired in the corner. Glimmering indecency

Like the naughtiest child. Culling laughter

Over and over

‘Chuck me off there,’ I said. Well, I practically

Begged, wrapped round your waist like an hour,

The tape-measure edge lapsed at our feet, in disgrace. A view

Stretching forever. White cliffs like Dover, viaduct, street,

Same conduct.

I felt silently sober, it wasn’t your fault. Un-floured,

My unloved, systematically stuck

The synonymous smile spreading like carnation

On peaches. Congealed like blood. The liquid candy-like lozenge

Which signified freedom, summer discussions

Of the end and the future. Irrelevant order.

I wanted to teach you to swim and you teach me to be

Beautiful. I wanted, I watched you

The loop-holed legionary in your mind making

Blotches on paper. I was crying. Riling through the dark

Damask of my perfume

Tears forming spheres which I smashed

Cut to glass, in my mortar.